I’m so tired of this shit. Not only is my baby still in the hospital, but but he’s still in Chicago..

115 days since he’s been born, and all spent in the NICU

He got the injection in his eye on the 23rd and the doctor said it would be about a 90% success rate. We had to wait a week to be sure the medicine took and things looked good the following week but the doctor wanted to monitor him another week. Then, yesterday we were patiently waiting for some good news and while there was some good news, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. His left eye is showing improvement but the scar tissue has him worried. The doctor doesn’t want the scar tissue to contract because that will cause other problems with the retina. In the event surgery is needed Xay would have a better chance now. So you guessed it, he’s going to be monitored for another week.

Leonard and I will be traveling back up to hug and snuggle with our baby boy. Zoom sessions and nurses sending us pictures just aren’t enough. This is the longest and furthest I’ve been from him and it really sucks. I feel guilty that I haven’t been able to be there for nearly two weeks. I need to physically touch him and I absolutely hate that I am going to have to schedule my time in hour and a half increments just to see him. This is just not how I wanted to bring in the New Year, but oh well.

I just want us to have one thing go right.

In lighter news, he’s still growing like crazy. He’s 10lbs 3oz and about 17in. He went down as low as 28% on his ventilator so he’s been trying to breathe more on his own. As of January 3rd, my original due date, Xavier is officially 40 weeks (adjusted age) which means he’s considered full term. We’ve been through so much in the last 16 weeks and we still have so much more to go… per usual I’ll keep you updated.

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Oh yea, Leonard and I got Xavier’s birthdate tattooed in roman numerals. Shout out to my brother in law for doing it. k, bye